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Second Continental Congress

  • Thomas Jefferson: Ok, how about this: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with--'
  • John Adams: I'm well endowed by my Creator.
  • Jefferson: Hush, John. This is important.
  • Adams: No, seriously. Just ask Abigail. We've got this running joke where she refers to me as Little John and my wang as Big John because it's that fucking huge.
  • Jefferson: John...
  • Adams: You know what the best part about having a twelve-inch wang is?
  • Jefferson: John!
  • Adams: I can paint numbers on it and use it as a ruler!